Sunday, November 16, 2003

-=[30th Oct 2003, Thursday]=-
Feeliing: emotional; venue: hall of my tiny and messy abode

Collected my class photo today. Had 1 formal and informal version. Had a good look at it on my dad’s cab while traveling home. Observed each of my fav students in details. Suddenly I miss my class very much. Got very emotional. I love MOST of them. Called up Junda and asked abt the basketball match. He told me they got into finals. I was thrilled. Actually I had already expected them to get into finals for top3. They ALWAYS play basketball together. Anyway back to the photograph. Yeah I missed them so much. Not all but most ;P Flashback to 2years back, on that fateful day during my ncc camp, I got to know that I will not be following my then form class 1/10 to sec2. I was to be the form teacher of the incoming sec1(NT) class which is 1/3. I was shattered. I loved that class 1/10 then. I wanted to follow them up to sec2, be there for them just like how I did when they were in sec1. I was also afraid. Afraid to take on a N(T) class. Afraid that I will not be able to handle and discipline them. But well, my fears were all in vain. I had forgotten that God will not give me anything that I am not able to handle. I was blessed to have Karen Chen to help me discipline them for de 1st 2 mths. She definitely did a wonderful job instilling fear into their then fresh minds, therefore letting me to be able to control them better when she is gone. Hahaha ;P Yeah I always catch their hair, skirt, socks etc. I still remember it started off real good, until as days go by, most of de Chinese girls start to claim that I practice biasness and treated the next class better. Well not true. De fact is, the Chinese girls from the next class had better character, not as bitchy and gossipy as u-know-who(S). They are very simple people with no hidden agenda. Heh but nvm. I loved most of the N(T) kids. Had a total of 3 different co-forms. WOah the last one really cut my back real deep with multiple scars siah. Deep until hidden meaning words/sentences came up during our planning retreat. Even the unrelated HOD also got to hear about her whines. Oh well, up till now, I am still trying very hard to ‘love thy enemies’. Yeah I really do! End of year came, deployment of class came, I was to follow-up my 1/3. I was like.. shucks… gotta see those girls again, but nvm lah. My co-form is Miss Chai. Man she is GREAT I tell u!! Thank You God for putting me and Miss Chai together. We both worked together very well. Both of us are anything-goes kind. We are both willing to do work. In fact she did MOST of the work. I am VERY GRATEFUL for it. Really. THANK YOU SUK CHING. U are simply GREAT. Besides Karen, Suk Ching also proved to me that there are wonderful co-forms around. Had another round of year with them. Again all those accusations etc but nvm.

Ok moral of the story, I realized that God had put me with them with a purpose. And again I didn’t realize it until God’s planned time. As stated, God has a purpose for all our situations. The purpose will be revealed only in his own timing. When I 1st entered the school in 2000, I was given a very good express class. It was such a breeze being their form teacher. The following year I took 1/10, which was the last class of the express classes. That was the class that I really loved and had wanted so much to follow them up. Though they are mischievous, I still had a great time with them. Some are of are so sincere and true, so human. Also never failed to bring me smiles. Next comes the 1/3 and following them up to 2/3 in the following year. God had prepared me for them by moving on slowly from a very good class, to a mischievous class, and lastly this N(T) class. God knows that I will go thru a very tough time in these 2 years of 2002 and 2003, thus giving me a very bunch of nice, ‘humane’, sincere (though very mischevious) students to keep me going and to perk up the occasional smiles during my lowest point in life. Yes my Lord, thank you for everything. Thank you for all the trials and tribulations and tests and finally breaking me down. Though extremely tough, u did not give me anything that I couldn’t handle. I had you to help me. All these are just to mould me to be a better me, a living witness for you. Thank you for all those opportunites to be able to share with people about you. Thank you for those angels that you had sent to keep me close to you, thus not wondering far. I love you God.

'God answers prayers in 3 ways. 1st, he says YES and he gives it to u. 2nd he says WAIT, and he gives u something BETTER. 3rd he says NO but he gives u something else which is the BEST for u.’

xia0miLk scribbled at 9:28 pm.