C.R.U.S.H.E.D
-=[17th December 2004, Friday]=-
Feeling: :( venue: Ah ma's place
xia0miLk scribbled at 2:33 pm.
(0) Tears of the bear
I Do Not Want To Be A Side Dish
-=[15th December 2004, Wednesday]=-
Feeling: creeping slow manisfestation of brutality; venue: ah ma's home
(Below is a months-ago issue. Thus colours changed as usual)
Have you ever been asked to be a part-time gf/bf to anybody who was also at the same time, attached? Well I was ever asked to be. Genuinely speaking it is just sooooo VERY WRONG to do so. NO WAY will I do so. period.
Ok names have been changed here to protect the identity of the male subject. No matter what there is still friendship here and I won't wanna spoil his reputation (in case his personal friends get to read this and decides to boooo at him). Let's call him Darren.
He started off with a helpful phone conversation on the male subject's part. He was trying to help me solve some problems that I don't even know existed. Of coz being grateful and naive and simple minded and all, I then had frequent conversations with him. Weird thing is, though we live so near (he on the hill, I below the hill), yet he resort to only telephone. Which later on I found out the reason why.
(On a night after chatting for some time on the phone.....)
Darren: "Anna, you got a bf now?"
Me: "Nopes. Why?"
Darren: "Well.... will you like to be my part-time gf?"
Me: *chokes* "WHAT?!?!?!"
Darren: "I said, will you like to be my part-time gf?"
Me: "HELLO. DON'T YOU HAVE A GF ALREADY?!???!!!!!!!"
Darren: "Yes....... but actually I don't love her anymore...and I like you for who you are... you are cute and unique."
Me: "................NO.... AND you are CRAZY Darren... I have always treated you as a good friend only... and I am NOT hard up to be anybody's part-time or full-time or whatsoever..."
NO WAY man. period. NO 2nd thoughts, NO further thinking need to be done. NO breaking up of a realationship nor getting involved in wadever triangle thingy. I was very taken aback. Actually Darren is VERY GOOD in his speech. He can talk a bird to get off a tree. That is how good he is! He has this thing for small petite sized girls. His gf is very cute, petite in size and all, can be described as similar to me in built and all, and he had been with his gf for 3 plus yrs? On the standing of being a good friend, I decided to probe further on and got to know some stuffs...
All these years... he do not have a single female friend at all!!! Reason being: he has a control freak as his gf! Horror of horrors! She is a guy's nitemare!! Yesh... he was not allowed to have any female friend at all! They were classmates in NYP business course I think. And you should know, business course is popular among gals, thus in class you can easily have like 17 gals to 3 guys or something like that? He was not allowed to speak to any female classmates at all. His passion lies in cycling and diving. He buys $900+++ of wheels for his bicycles and goes for frequent diving trips. She finds that being a waste of money and doesn't support him at all. She traded his hp off when he was away on his diving trip. The hp was of great sentimental value to him. He felt that it is of a great relief when he got into the camp coz that was where he could finally BREATH. So in the camp, the few of us girls were his only females friends. At least so claimed by him lah. Blah and blah, he had tried to break off with her for a few times, but eventually got back together with her coz she was crying away and he was tooooo soft hearted and gave in. So he don't really love her anymore. But was with her coz he didn't want her to be lonely and sad and stuffs like that. BUT at the same time, he still has that liking for her.
I tried my best to persuade him to get back with her whole-heartedly. She loves him too much to lose him that's why she didn't want other gals to speak to him. (Hrmz, come to think of it, I can understand the reason that she feels insecure. His mouth is so filled with sugar!)
Hhmmm... my view on this is, he had a problem with her, and he hadn't solve his problem with her yet. I just happened to appear at that point of his life and being a zealous and overly friendly me, he felt very at ease with me around. I strongly felt that, that particular action of his would had already hurt his gf sooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!! TOTALLY INHUMANE!! (ok perhaps not exactly to such a grave extent, but still!!). He should have let her go totally and not stay with her if she doesn't love her anymore. In fact by doing so, he was already cheating on her. He should solve it with her and not pull any guy nor gal into the picture.
Jerk..
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Recently I related a similar yet unsimilar issue to sammie boy. And this is what he told me.
"Men are bastards. They like to have variety of side dishes to eat."
Ok I got it. To put in simple terms, men still will do get interested in other women/men (if he is a gay) though themselves are happily attached. I just wonder why. Variety I guess? The other women/men (if he is a gay) has certain qualities that attracts the men. Sammie himself also gets tempted at times for varieties...
No matter what a guy says to his 'side dish' about his original gal / guy (if he is a gay), about how much he actually wants to split up, or how bad the original gal / guy (if he is a gay) is, he still WILL go back to the orignal 1st gal / guy. Period. Nuff' said.
Perhaps being attractive is not a good thing afterall.
I do not want to be a side dish.
xia0miLk scribbled at 11:22 pm.
(1) Tears of the bear
*ANNOUNCEMENT*
-=[9th December 2004, Thursday]=-
Feeling: blank venue: Ah ma's place
This is an announcement system. My computer had been down for a trillion decades. Thus the reason for not updating my blog at all. So please hold, while the computer takes another zillion years to get fixed. Meanwhile occasion updates will be done from my grandma's place. THANK GOD FOR AUNTIES WITH PC!!
xia0miLk scribbled at 3:46 pm. (0) Tears of the bear