Friday, August 20, 2004

I LOVE THE KIDS!!!!

-=[20th August 2004, Friday]=-
Feeling: emotional; venue: at home

Four years ago when I ventured into the secondary school as a young teacher, I wanted to be an inspiration for the kids. I wanted to be their candle in the dark, 'big sister' in crisis, shoulder to cry on, friend of their smiles, salt of their life. I wanted to give them the best I can. Perhaps I am very limited in helping them in terms of academic but I wanted them to have the best, to achieve the best, and be the best; both in academic and moral ethics. I gave them my best. I loved them. I take them as my younger brothers and sisters. I love to refer them as 'my kids', my term of affection for them. *smile sweetly*

I NEVER fail to smile when I thought of all the times, where; I so wittily (is there such a word?) teased them, making them brawl in laughter and I will follow suit thereafter; when the "Black Metals" so eagerly come and talk to me after school; I terrorise the boys during NCC trainings; when I inspected with an eagle eye, each and every utensils and crockeries used after each practical lessons; how they made me laugh with their silly jokes and arguments and mutual teases; my friendship with the few of them; how I felt loved on those few occasions; my punishments for them for not bringing my subject's book to class; my casual chats with them after school (which means my marking will be procrastinated again).

Each form class that I took has their own unique dynamics. Funny how I adapted to it.

There was once, in year 2001, my then form class of sec 1/10, had this mini birthday gathering for me in school. Jasmine gave me a self-made invitation card (I simply LOVE self-made cards) and reminded me to turn up no matter what. They bought a cake for me, had went to each other's home to make Konnyaku Jellies during the night before, screamed, shouted, shrieked (basically only the gals did the shrieking part lah. HAHA) birthday song soooooooooo loudly that everything that has breath turned and stared at us. Even the teachers of the 2nd level also heard it so clearly. In fact they were soooooooo thoughtful that they didn't wanna miss out the other co-form teacher's birthday as well. They wanted to be fair. Though hers was already over, yet they still wanted this belated thingy for her too. so both of us got the cake. I was so touched. I tried so hard to fight the tears. It was tears of joy. As I move on in years, I know that I will never forget that very moment, that very class of sec 1/10 of year 2001.

Year 2002 and 2003 was a super tough year for me. My then simpler-minded class of 1/3 following up to 2/3 was of different dynamics. Nevertheless I still love them for being who they are. The Chinese boys especially, always amuses me, making me laugh non-stop. E.g there were a few times during their PE lessons, they spotted me going down the spiral staircase and walking towards their direction (coz I was on my way to canteen to pig out on the food). As I walked nearer towards them, one of the snakehead will greet out and drag very loudly "Miss Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..................................", while the rest of the Chinese munity followed on by the Malay Kampong, will echo after him, thus the result will be ALL of them dragging their greetings very loudly to me as "MISS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..........". I was very amused/embarrassed/shy. Tried hard to stifle my laughter, hushed them and marched straight into the canteen. The kids could tell that I was trying hard not to show my amusement. As I walked past them, they actually had the cheek to encourage me to laugh out if I want to.

Kid A: "Miss Hee, if you want to laugh must laugh out hor. Cannot keep inside. Wait tio lai siong ah."
(*Note to readers. Lai siong = internal injuries, in dialect)
Kid B: "Yah lorh. Don't geh geh and walk in front"
(*Note to readers. geh geh = to pretend that nothing had happened, in dialect again)
Kid C: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Me: "Yah yah. You guys better keep quiet or else Mrs Tan (the evil principal in their eyes) will come out instead. Some more Miss Liew now trying to take all of your body weights. See how fat you people are, then send you to torture regime; THE TAF CLUB"
Majority of the kids: "LET HER COME LORH. WE WILL DRAG HER NAME EVEN LONGER"
Everybody: "HAHAAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

Or another case, of mc-demanding. History of this is, whenever they return from absence from school, I will hunt them down for mc/letter of explanation like nobody's business. As it is a MUST that they produce valid reasons. Though frankly speaking letters are not quite valid lah. But again............... =

(Early in the morning during attendance taking)
Cute & short Sarhan: "Miss Hee!! Why you never come for 3 days ah? I bring all the aprons and everything on Friday leh. I want to cook. When I bring, your never come. When I never bring, you will come."
Me: *depression mode* "I sick lah."
Cute & short Sarhan: "OIC....... (stretches out a hand and imitates me).. GIVE ME YOUR MC NOW."
Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH!!!!"

The Black Metals of the class are actually made up of the 4 Indian girls. The nickname is given to them by this cute quiet-looking-but-not-innocent boy, xxx. They are sooooooooo sweet... ESPECIALLY Siti Asmah and Darishena. Siti and Darishe both speak very gently and docile manner. The other 2 gals, Hemadarshini and Maha Laxshmi, on the other hand, are very talkative and funny. But all four of them knew how to crack jokes well. There was once after their Maths remedial class, I spotted the 3 gals chatting, and Siti Asmah on the public phone in the canteen. As I walked over towards them, I heard Siti slammed the phone and came over. She then started sobbing.

Me: "What happened Siti?"
(I was sooooooooooo tempted to give her a loving reassurance hug but I can't cos there were other skeptical teachers around)
Siti: (still sobbing gently) "I called my mother and told her that my maths remedial class just finished and I am coming back home now. She don't believe I have maths remedial and scolded me."
Me: *gasped* "Then what did you do after that?"
Siti: "I slammed down the phone and came here."
Me: "Aiyohhhhhhhh...." (wiped the tears on her face and corner of her eyes)
3 gals: (At this point of time the other 3 gals were comforting the sobbing Siti) *conversing away in Tamil language*
Me: "Why don't I call your mum and explain to her that your Maths class is a last minunte thingy from your Maths teacher?"
Maha: "Yah Miss Hee, you must do so. Use your handphone. Hee hee"
Me: (dialed the correct number, chatted with Siti's mum for awhile)
Me: "Done, Siti! She doesn't know coz it is so last min and you didn't call her beforehand. I have already assured her that the next time any of such last min classes happens again, the teacher will write a note on your handbook to show to her, and that you will call her early before the start of the class."
Siti: "Thank you Miss Hee"
Me: "Now you drink this bubble tea of mine. You will feel better after that."
Siti: "Don't want. Don't want. That is your drink" *shy look*
Me: "Now, I always share my food and drinks with people I love. And for those closest to my heart, they get the 1st mouth of the food/drink. So now I am offering you the 1st mouth of my drink."
Siti: "Thank you Miss Hee." *smiles sweetly again*
Me: *aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

It made me smile and happy to know that she is happy again. I want all of them to be happy. As long as they are happy, so will I.

I also feel that I owe ALL OF THEM AN APOLOGY. ALL the classes that I taught in the year 2003. Especially my form class of class 2/3 of year 2003. Due to the mental torture and depression, my temper was horrendously disgusting. I flared up even more easily. I screamed, shouted, shrieked, tortured, terrorized them. I seemed to be under the control of the devil, under his manipulation to bring fear and sadness around. I couldn't control myself. Tried so hard but couldn't. I was such a spicey bitch during that period. Yet the kids, especially my own form class, forgave me so easily, so magnanimously. They still continued to speak to me as per normal, as if nothing had happened. In fact, it was their presence that had kept me going on, kept me alive, saved me from doing any dumb things (eg. suicide) that may hurt my parents even more. Without them, I won't be here. A few of my kids from the previous class of 1/10 (2001), Fabian, NCC boys, were also the few angels who kept me alive and kicking till now! To all my kids out there whom I had screamed at then,

xia0miLk scribbled at 10:41 am.